Why I'm studying law

When I say I’m a law student, the first thing most people comment on is the fact that I’ll end up earning heaps of money. When I explain that that’s not my intention at all, the question is then what I plan to do with it. I struggle to articulate a coherent response. Usually it’s just some vague notion of wanting to help people and better society, which is all very well, but is a rather inadequate response. So I though it was about time that I actually explored the reasons why I’m at law school. This will help me articulate myself better to those who ask, as well as giving me good motivation on those days when I wonder what the hell I’m doing.

It first occurred to me to do law when I was in my last year of school and had to decide what to study at uni. I remember my mum encouraging me to do law cos I was “too smart to just do a BA”. This seemed a bit ridiculous and elitist at the time, cos BAs seemed awesome. However, at the information evening the woman talking about law seemed really cool so I decided to give it a go.

Throughout my first year, I could quite clearly divide the law students into 2 camps – those who were sure they wanted to do a law degree and become lawyers, and were determined to do it no matter what, and those who were there just to try it out and see what happened. Being in the second group myself I had a much more relaxed approach than some. I remember before the end of year exams not being stressed at all, because I had decided that if I did badly, I’d just give up law, do my BA, and be happy. This relaxed approach allowed me to study hard without freaking out, which I think enabled me to do better than I otherwise might have.

During my first year at uni, my eyes were opened significantly. I fell in love with politics and IR, and especially Robbie, one of the IR lecturers, who inspired us to question everything society had made us assume about the world. Several times his lectures made me cry, as I realised just how fucked up the world is. I also cried when I found out that he was leaving, due to frustration at the restructuring of the IR department (which was completely ridiculous, ideological and undemocratic. But that’s a story for another day). Robbie also led me to question doing IR/development at all – as I realised how ridiculous it is to go into other societies to “develop” them, while we are doing so much wrong ourselves. His lasting message for me, aside from the rather unhelpful “don’t be despondent” about the cuts, was to “radiate out” starting with yourself and your own society, rather than trying to fix everyone else.

I joined Greens@Vic, mostly for social reasons at first, as a lonely first-year looking for like-minded friends. I soon realised that the Greens were the only party with a sensible vision for the future, and the voice of a movement that I wanted to be a part of. I loved the fact that politics was so accessible, and that I could so easily meet and engage with Green Party MPs. I also did a bit of volunteering at the office, which was boring work – mostly data entry, but awesome due to the amazing people there, and the free trade aid chocolate. I also did lots for the election campaign – doorknocking, leafleting and the like, which affirmed my conviction that the Greens encompassed most of my political beleifs.

I slowly realised how much I have in common with my dad, who I was living with at the time, which was funny, because I always thought I was much more similar to my mum. My dad is a lawyer (who no, didn’t inspire me to do law at all), who is very into politics (and no, didn’t particularly inspire my political interest either). We had lots of great discussions that year, mostly regarding politics (we actually have quite similar views despite him being and loyal labour supporter). I could wander into his office at 11pm to ask law questions, and he was (still is!) a fantastic proofreader of essays. It was awesome when I was studying something and he would tell me about his involvement and what he thought at the time. It was fascinating to realise all the worthwhile stuff that he has done – which seemed so intensely boring when I was a child.

The other major change in my life that year was becoming vegan. In hindsight it seems unbelievable that it took so long – from realising that it was the right thing to do, to being able to turn down dessert made by others (especially my aunt’s chocolate mousse!!), took me about four or five months. It was another thing that made me passionate about wanting to make a difference – most of our animal welfare laws are archaic and cruel, and there is no hint of animals rights. Towards the end of the year I got involved in starting a vegan group at uni, and now I am also part of an animal rights group.

I liked the idea of using law for good, and this inspired me, once exam results were out, to keep going with it in second year. I still knew that I could drop out after the first few weeks if I really hated it, having heard about plenty of people who had done so, and I think that comforted me somewhat. I do enjoy it though, for the most part – legal thinking is a fascinating process, and the pedantic nitpicky part of me really likes it. Of course the creative side of my brain really struggles with being stuck in a box, but that’s why its awesome doing a BA at the same time.

Second year (so far, touch wood) has been pretty awesome. Public law is rather disappointing due to incredibly boring lecturers, but crimes has been fantastic. Both the lecturers so far have been incredibly inspiring. The first one, Mamari, was definitely the best law lecturer I have ever had. She spent several lectures going over Maori, and other alternative, approaches to criminal law. Even though the system we have to learn about is very much stuck in a box, it is heartening to know that alternatives exist, and they are at least acknowledged at law school.

That brings me to another point: law students. Lots of them are aresholes. Case in point: one day I was studying with a bunch of people I had recently met. We had just had a lecture on Maori approaches to fault, which was one of the most interesting and inspiring lectures ever. This bunch of people I was studying with, however, did not think so. They complained, saying they thought we’d covered all the “Maori stuff” in the first week, and that it was “irrelevant” to our legal system. That made me want to scream and cry and rage all at once, but of course I didn’t, I just kept quiet until the topic changed (to the USA, and the belief that might is right, which didn’t exactly make me feel much better…)

Biking home that day I was on the verge of tears. My faith in humanity and especially in law students was completely undermined. They were unbelievably racist, bigoted, privileged and egocentric. It depressed me deeply that these were the next generation of lawyers, who are supposed to fight for justice. I felt that these people were perfectly representative of law students generally, and to be honest, that is probably still correct. I felt isolated in a sea of negativity, of self-centred power-hungry jerks, and that I risked drowning amongst them if unless I treaded very carefully the fine line between fitting in and being different.

The next time I biked home from uni on the verge of tears was only a few weeks later, and I think represents a turning point in my reasons for being at law school. The Community Justice Project did a screening of Operation 8, and given that I’d been meaning to see it for like a year, I decided to go along.  I’m so glad that I did, because it really opened my eyes to how completely fucked our “justice” system is. While many aspects of the film stood out for me, the thing that remains strongest in my mind is something that Valerie Morse said to us afterwards – that 70% of women in prison are Maori. This shocked me beyond belief. It didn’t seem possible that a system could fail a whole race so badly.

The other thing that stood out was just how close to home everything was. The images of the police breaking the glass at 128 really got to me, having spent plenty of time there myself. Mark Eden talking about the infiltrator in animal rights groups really shocked me too, and I was glad that the film looked at these issues more broadly. I can understand why the police would target Maori separatists (although of course I think their actions were completely unjustified), but planting spies into animal rights groups just seems too ridiculous to be true.

The Urewera 18 spent 5 years battling the justice system. Even though 14 have been let off their charges, it is unlikely they will ever see anything resembling justice. The kids who had guns shoved in their faces will be traumatised for the rest of their lives, and the financial and emotional costs of being dragged through the courts is immense. An acquittal does not change this. No amount of compensation can replace a lost childhood or a sold family home, but I doubt any at all will be forthcoming. Without the work of awesome lawyers, the Urewera 18 would have been completely screwed. Although the justice system is flawed, racist and unjust, it is the one we are stuck with, and we need people to fight within it.

I was not particularly surprised when Tame and Rangi were sentenced to 2 ½ years for firearms charges. I was more surprised by the shoddy turn out at the protest against it. In fact shoddy turnouts at protests have been quite a theme lately (see my rant on asset sals…). I know their appeal was last week some time. No idea how it went. It amazes me that their sentence was so much harsher than Emily and Urs’s sentence of 9 months home detention, for exactly the same charges. If this is not blatant racism, I don’t know what is.

Amongst all this rage, frustration and anger, there is one thing that really makes me happy, which is when I meet people who are doing awesome things. I felt incredibly inspired talking to the older generation of greenies at the AGM a few months ago. They were the coolest old people ever, many of them having been involved in the Values Party as 20 year olds back in the 70s. The intergenerational mixing was something I had never really experienced before and I found it incredibly beautiful that they had so much to share and offer to us.

I also found it profoundly depressing. In the 1970s, the environmental problems facing the world were insignificant compared to what we are currently experiencing. They couldn’t even imagine the downward spiral that humanity was about to embark upon. They had been fighting for 40 years, with minor victories, yes, but these were mere glitches on a trajectory heading exponentially downwards. Although the vibe of the conference was upbeat and positive, celebratory even, I couldn’t help but feel, or at least imagine, a sense of failure on the part of humanity as a whole.

I have also met some amazing lawyers. A few weeks ago I met a vegan lawyer and a vegetarian lawyer, which probably doubled the number of veg*n lawyers I know. It was definitely the highlight of my evening, if not my weekend. I have heard lots about a group called legal vegans which existed in Auckland. It sounds awesome. When I first heard about it I was amazed that “vegan lawyer” actually existed as a category of people. I’m really really keen to start one up here cos I think it would be fantastic.

That being said, I am unsure to the extent to which I identify as vegan above any other identity. I have realised over the past few months that of course not all vegans are amazing people. It frustrates me that so many of them think that because they are refraining from cruelty to animals they are doing their bit, period. Like with asset sales, it frustrates me hugely when people are passionate about something but refuse to stand up and actually do something to change it. I am wary of spending too much time with vegans, at the risk of ignoring other opportunities to get involved with other things.

In conclusion, I have no idea where I am going with law. I am interested in animal rights law, but I don’t want to limit myself to this and become a narrow-minded “vegangelical”. My interest in development is dwindling as I realise the concept is filled with hypocrisy, and we need to fix ourselves first. Our environment is fucked, and maybe law can play a part in fixing it. Social justice will always be important to me, as I see how people are constantly screwed over by the “system”. It is hard to know in which direction to go when there are so many pressing issues to be passionate about. Fortunately, I believe that all our problems are absolutely related, and mostly come down to selfishness and greed. Their solutions will not be mutually exclusive, and require a fundamental change in our society. I think any change has to occur on all levels – from the grassroots, from the government, and of course through the courts.

Law can be used for good or for bad – it is a neutral tool, and I don’t believe it is inherently a bad thing (maybe at the moment it is used more for bad than good, but this doesn’t mean it has to be). Plenty of good things have been achieved through the legal system over the years. Yes, there are plenty of really areseholey lawyers and law students out there. Yes, there are a few really awesome lawyers who I find inspiring, but they certainly don’t outweigh the arseholey ones. It is my absolute conviction that the world needs more lawyers with a social conscience, and hopefully I can be such a person. I don’t even think it matters what I end up doing – as long as I can do it with a clear moral conscience, I know I will be following the right path.